Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
