I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
