my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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