My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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