I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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