We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
