I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
