do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
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