There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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