Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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