It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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