I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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