Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
