you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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