I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
