there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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