I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
