I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Less talking, more tequila
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
