A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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