My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
