i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
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