Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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