somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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