Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Lube is flammable

(404): View more from Georgia

Who is this??

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(907): View more from Alaska

The chlamydia really affected his face.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.

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(224): View more from Illinois

i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.

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(208): View more from Idaho

When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

What are u up to today?

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

Marathon sex and eating.

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