You really coming over, don't trick.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
