Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
