by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
two words: eviction party
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
