5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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