It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
