I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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