im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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