he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
