Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
