The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
