Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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