So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
