I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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