I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
