1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize