I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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