I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
