She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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