Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
