Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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