Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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