it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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