I want to stick my p in your. b.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
