My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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