ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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