none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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