Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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