Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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