My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
