I will die if light touches me.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
