He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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