I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
