What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
