Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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