the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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