Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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