I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
