In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
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Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
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We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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