i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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