I can text with my tongue
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
