If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
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