Are we in a gay sports bar?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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