I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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