There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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