At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The struggles of a small town man whore
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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