so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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