$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize