So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
