Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
