Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
