and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
And then my night got REAL pukey
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
