If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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