Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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