Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
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Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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