she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
There r osticjed everywhere
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
